Source: The Independent

"Monk" Knows Best
January 15, 2014 | 07:16 PM

Jerry ... Without a doubt, one of your best columns ever. Couldn't stop smiling as I read it.

Meanwhile, having always been called "Monk" by friends dining with me in a restaurant, here's the way to have a better dining experience:

1) After being seated, survey your table top and re-arrange everything the way you want it to be. Get rid of all "promo" cardboard and put it on the table or seat next to you.

2) Then, determine what's missing ... Like salt and pepper, knife, fork, or spoon, napkin, menu, wine list, whatever.

3) When the waiter finally decides to come over and ask if you'd like a drink or cocktail before ordering, say "Yes" ... and then tell him/her that you'd also like S

Bill Crandall