Source: The Independent

Thought For The Day

by Samdup Thockmay

July 12, 2006

Samdup Thockmay is a Tibetan monk, a seer and a prophet. He manages a convenience store in Flushing.

Today: It’s really cute your teachers all called you “Tardo.”

Birthday: Henry David Thoreau, 1817

Watch out for: Gerbils named “Dino”

Be grateful: You didn’t notice what they put on your hamburger.

Tomorrow: Someone named Herbert will try to mount you.

Birthday: Cheech Marin, 1946

Watch out for: Elephant mucous

Be grateful: You have a nice grave picked out.

Friday: Before leaving for work, try kneeling down, looking up and asking God, “Why me?”

Birthday: Woody Guthrie, 1912

Watch out for: The spider in your bed

Be grateful: Stupid is as stupid does.

Saturday: Join in the merriment; you could be the center of attention at the party — when everyone else leaves.

Birthday: Rembrandt, 1606

Watch out for: Blood in your stool

Be grateful: For the stool at the bar.

Sunday: Take a moment to smell the poopie

Birthday: Will Ferrell, 1968

Watch out for: Things with tentacles, women named “Prudence” and menus with guacamole

Be grateful: Your nickname isn’t “Shrimp Boy.”

Monday: You walk with giants, or maybe you are just a dwarf.

Birthday: Camilla Parker Bowles, 1947

Watch out for: Men with dirty handkerchiefs

Be grateful: You don’t remember what you did.

Tuesday: The sun will come out . . . tomorrow, tomorrow

Birthday: Machine Gun Kelly, 1895

Watch out for: The soapbox and noose

Be grateful: It only hurts for a moment.