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Running Mates


Dear East Hampton Independent Editor,

The airwaves are inundated with the game of guessing the composition of the team representing each of the parties for the presidential race. I can't think of an interesting Republican team, which, if elected, would change the unfortunate direction of our country, which their predecessors have taken us. One thing they have going for them, however, it would be near impossible to denigrate our country to a greater, or rather dismal, degree than has already been done. The new team would just be another same ole, same ole.

How about the other party? Borrowing a phrase from Monty Python's Flying Circus: "And now for something completely different." How about a ticket with Hillary Rodham Clinton for President and Barack Obama as Vice President? Can you imagine? Well, it might not be as crazy as it seems.

The Republican women would hate Hillary Clinton out of sheer envy for her brilliance and achievements and for forgiving a husband's foolish peccadillo, while the insecure men for the same reasons (maybe not the forgiving . . . "wink, wink") while also feeling emasculated and threatened since she is a woman and has accomplished so much. President-ships are a man's domain.

And then there is Barack Obama. The Christian Evangelists and Fundamentalists who painfully tolerate blacks in order to deflect political flack and voted as a block for George W. Bush would burst red with rage at the concept of black as VP. uppity black; they'll hate him for his brilliance as well.

The very concept might aggravate those innate Republican hate genes to the level of mental and physical distress bringing about a comatose state, disallowing them the ability to make the trek to the poll in order to cast their vote.

TA TAA. VICTORY IS OURS!!!!

CHRISTOPHER NICHOLAS
November 07, 2006

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