September 29, 2010
Is variety The "Spice" Of Life
As usual at the newsstand, the magazine covers are graced by beautiful women. There's Sandra Bullock and Demi Moore and Victoria Beckham. Only this week, every one of them has a headline you wouldn't expect for literally some of the sexiest women in the world, BETRAYED. Their husbands have all allegedly been cheating. These iconic, successful hotties all find themselves not in the newest tantric yoga sensual pretzel but in the wronged wife position. What are these men thinking? I mean it's Posh Spice, come on. Maybe you might step out on Sporty Spice but not Posh.
And it's not like these guys upgraded in any way. Tattoo encrusted biker chicks, pudgy waitresses, or tacky call girls. At least Brad Pitt was fighting the temptation of Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. That's like trying to decide if you want to drive the Bentley or the Aston Martin. For the others it's like they wanted to drive the Camaro.
While this is bad news for these high profile Hollywood wives, it's really bad news for the rest of us. We probably wouldn't tweet pictures of our 47 year old bodies in bikinis to defend ourselves. And certainly not in poor lighting. For these women physical perfection is part of their job description. They're not going to come back from a cruise and bust the zipper on their jeans or have dark circles under their eyes from working two jobs. It's unlikely their husband will come home to find them in a ratty bathrobe eating Chunky Monkey saying, "Good god if I don't shave my legs soon I'm just going to grow out the hair and braid it." These women are contractually fit, wrinkle free, and well dressed, without ever suffering a bad hair day or mustache wax melt down. But what is female physical perfection? Poor Posh gets called out in the tabloids for being "too thin" and not curvy enough. You can't win.
Is it just the media age we live in where cell phone cameras, mini flip videos and text messages capture the cheaters red-handed? Is it the allure of the fifteen minutes of fame for "the other woman," the best route other than a New Jersey reality TV show and diminutive nick name to attract attention? Are big media pay outs to the women making the cheating claims to blame? Or is it an age old problem, the Henry VIII complex of why bed and behead one wife when you can have eight?
Maybe the theory is one woman isn't enough even though she's a sexy superstar. The very same magazines also chronicled a new reality show about a bigamist with four wives. The real life Big Love husband claims he's got the life he wants except for the fact that he leaves his belt at one wife's apartment and his tooth brush at another's.
Is variety truly the "spice" of life?
Apparently if you can buy dental floss in bulk – it's fine.
Whatever is happening in their personal marriages, it seems even sadder to have these allegations splashed on the glossy pages with dirty details and pictures. Often these high profile wives are also mothers and it is not only them but their children who are affected. If these husbands could see the headlines that result from their actions, maybe they'd say, "You know what, I really don't want to drive the Camaro today."
You can find more of my writing at HipHamptons.com or drop me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.