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September 08, 2010
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Kiss & Tell


Don't Take Away Her Chardonnay


I don't normally open the cute jokes that are forwarded through emails unless there are pictures of animals. But one did catch my attention because I received it over and over from trusted girlfriends. Clearly it hit a responsive chord.

What A Real Man Does

A real man is a woman's best friend.

He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do, to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .

No wait . . . sorry . . . I'm thinking of wine.

That's what wine does . . . .

Never mind. . . .

Ah, yes, women and wine. Many will give up their earthly pleasures if pressed but if you try to wrestle away her cold glass of chardonnay at the end of the day she will hurt you. Whatever part of the brain is affected, it does appear to be the confidence center.

Many women have little things that do give them that leg up on sense of self. New, matching, sexy lingerie may do it for some women who know, even if no one else does, that what they have on underneath is very special. Inevitably the careful hand washing in Woolite gives way to, "Oh, heck, just throw it in the washer with the dish towels," until it turns into a knotted ball a cat might play with. Go splurge on the new Hanky Pankies.

A good pedicure can also be part of the category of feeling good about yourself. Somehow after a great foot scrub we feel thinner. I heard the newest rage is little Japanese fish that nibble on your feet to leave them smooth and callous free. Besides totally creeping me out, it made me want to call the ASPCA. A few of us gals were talking about our neglected tootsies and need to get a spa appointment although we figured if men (short of a foot fetish) are only noticing the newness of our nail polish we are doing something wrong.

Flowers. A beautiful, fresh bouquet on your desk signals that you are special to someone. Even if you sent them to yourself. Whenever I would see Carl from Sag Harbor Florist walking up to my door, I immediately felt lighter and brighter. While I enjoy getting deliveries from them, I have to say that he is most dearly missed. I always thought it would be a wonderful job to deliver flowers where everyone was always happy to see you. There's something about the metaphor of being in full bloom, especially for women, that builds confidence.

I was just reminded by my sister of another huge confidence booster – clarity. If we are clear about what we are willing to do and what we are not willing to do, we live in a state of oneness with our higher self and life purpose. There's no feeling of being taken advantage of or having our values compromised. Ultimately that is what it is all about. While wine, and of course good men (we love you, we really do, almost as much as that chardonnay) can make us feel more confident it is the gift we have to give ourselves. Cheers.

You can find more of my writing at HipHamptons.com or drop me a note at kissandtellhb@hotmail.com.

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