August 08, 2007
Kiss & Tell
But What Did She Wear?
With her visit to the East End, Hillary incurred a great deal of speculation about how much money she would raise, who might be her running mate, and in true Hamptons style, what she would wear. Given the national attention that has been focused on her cleavage, would we suddenly see her in a turtleneck in August?
With all the serious issues in a presidential campaign it is astounding that what she wore to the Senate would be news. I mean it's not like she went out on the town with no panties. Maybe I've just spent too much time in the VIP tent at polo where women can balance their Piper Heidsieck bottles on their chest, but if Hillary wants to flaunt some cleavage she's going to have to work much harder than that out here.
Now I come from a long line of Buchanan women who have what is commonly referred to as a "rack," so you're probably going to notice them, especially since as the first line of defense they tend to show all mustard stains and muffin crumbs. My mother and aunt have reached an age where they are buying greeting cards joking about roping "the girls" in with a belt. But over the years we've all become well versed in defying gravity.
If Hillary really did want to become an attention-getter I was going to suggest she stop in at Bonne Nuit in East Hampton where she could get some fancy bustiers with more bones than a red snapper to fix her up right and really give the press something to talk about. I'm sure on the campaign trail it must be hard to lingerie shop. Think about it – can she really order things from Fredericks of Hollywood (too tawdry) or La Perla (too French) or Victoria's Secret (too young) or Jockey (I don't even want to go there)? Can the Secret Service join her in the dressing room of Macy's? When she gets up in the morning should she worry about VPL (visible panty lines) before or after global warming?
Since Jackie Kennedy there hasn't been a woman in the political arena who garnered much attention for what she wore. (Although whenever I travel out of town my fiancé asks me to please dress like Barbara Bush.) Unlike the pillbox hat, Hillary hardly spawned a head band craze. We don't really turn to our female politicians for fashion forward ideas; we look to them to represent our interests. And is her bra size really relevant anyway? I don't see anyone yelling out, "Hey Barack are you a boxer or briefs sort of guy?" Just as we wouldn't run out to imitate Hillary's outfit because "it looks so cute on her" we also wouldn't want Paris Hilton to navigate immigration issues.
The larger question is one of how we view women in places of power. Unless you're the head of a modeling agency on a fictional TV show, you can't really be sexy. But if you dress too dowdy you get accused of "looking like a man." Where is the happy medium? Like stockings it's somewhere between the garter belt and the knee highs you're hoping no one will notice under your skirt. But public people are also private people as well so if Hillary wants some gorgeous lingerie that makes her feel just a little more va va voom, I'd be happy to direct her here in the Hamptons. Because as far as boobs go, there are clearly plenty of those already in Washington.
You can find more at HamptonsHeather.com or drop me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.