Hardy Plumbing
July 18, 2007
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Low Tidings


When Bluebloods Get Funky


Wanky Wanamaker: Oh Muffin, do get me a glass of champagne, will you? Is my ascot adjusted properly?

Muffin: My dear, you are still the most handsome man at the country club! Look, there are the Biddle-Piddles and the Vanderbilts! Waiter, do send over a bottle of your finest bubbly to Tiffany and Baxter, won't you?

Cornelius Baxer-Towles: I must say I am developing a taste for this sushi. Miles, you really must try some.

Whitney Meriwether: Miles eating sushi my goodness what is the world coming too, tee-hee!

Miles: My goodness! Waiter, waiter! I believe I see a black man up there!

Waiter: Sir, that is Prince.

Wanky: Ahh! A prince! From Kuwait? From Dubai? They have the best pony races. Please, invite him over for some poached salmon and caviar! I do so admire their horsemanship!

Taffy Baxter-Post: My goodness, he's rather tiny! Is he a jockey? (Giggle, giggle)

Muffin: Who is that prince?

Waiter: Prince.

Taffy: But what prince?

Waiter: Prince.

Wanky: Prince of Where?

Waiter: Well, actually, he's also known as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Muffin: He's an artist? My goodness. Like Pollock?

Taffy: Ugh! He was so unkempt!

Miles: I believe he favors portraits. Yes, of course, I've seen his work at the Louvre.

Muffin: Really?

Taffy: He's making that up!

Waiter: Actually sir, he is to perform music this evening.

Wanky: Here?

Waiter: Yes.

Wanky: Gosh, we were going to get up a little game of bridge after dining. You don't suppose we can put this little musical affair off a bit? Here waiter, give the little prince this $100 bill and tell him to go down to the Five and Dime and buy some more trinkets he seems to favor garish jewelry.

Miles: Finish up your duckling and let's get started! Muffy, another cocktail?

Wanky: It appears our little prince is wearing makeup and high heels!

Miles: Yes sir, that is the traditional garb in his country.

Muffin: Really?

Taffy: He's making that up!

Waiter: I'm afraid the concert is about to begin shortly, sir.

Wanky: Well, do tell him to play quietly. Mumsy likes to take a little nipper after dinner, you know.

Cornelius: My eyelids are getting a bit heavy as well. I'm afraid music is out of the question. I won't have it!

Taffy: Do all the princes from Dubai play music?

Miles: Yes, it is part of their training. Each prince must master a musical instrument, just as each prince must learn to jockey a horse.

Muffin: Really?

Taffy: He's making that up!

Muffin: Oh, Miles, you are quite the kidder!

Wanky: Well, I do hope they toilet train their princes! (Everyone giggles)

Miles: You never did tell us what his name is.

Waiter: Just Prince.

Taffy: You mean he is the Prince of Just? I never heard of that.

Waiter: Just Prince.

Muffin: Just Prince of Where?

Miles: What?

Wanky: That.

Taffy: Just that then?

Cornelius: I see a band up there. My god, man, where is the string section?

Muffin: My goodness! There is no conductor!

Taffy: Heavens! They are dressed like savages!

Wanky: I dare say we should have dined on the yacht this evening. Waiter, waiter! Please tell security to move that . . . that . . . those . . . princes out into the parking lot. The younger set was hoping to play a little croquet.

Muffin: And could we have some more truffle tarts?

Taffy: I'd like a really chilled flute of champagne if you would, my good man.

Miles: I do believe that little prince is a very well known performer!

Muffin: Really?

Taffy: He's making that up!

Muffin: Oh, Miles, you are quite the kidder!

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