April 11, 2007
Kiss & Tell
What Do Men Want?
While Freud may have been stumped about what women want, we of the female enquiring minds are equally thwarted in our efforts to penetrate the male psyche.
When a man is willing to tell it like it is, his revelations become a best seller. Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus told us that a man likes to retreat to his man cave and be left alone until he's ready to come back to a confrontation, and He's Just Not That Into You hammered home that when a man doesn't call it doesn't mean he lost our number or was in a car accident, it means he's not interested. Helpful for gals like me who actually believed the reason the guy hadn't been in touch for three months was because of Whooping Cough.
All too often when the question is posed to men what they want from women the answer comes back: Show up naked. Bring food. At first I thought this was a joke. But even if it's true, we need a little more info. A recent article that gave the man-411 was David Zinczenko's "What Makes Men Fall In Love," hitting the e-mail forward circuit like wildfire, proliferating faster than cellulite cure news. This prompted me to conduct my own survey asking guys what they wanted from their women.
One small but important item was what I'll call the "Honey, I'm home," factor. Whether it's picking up a girl for a first date or after years of marriage that first moment of greeting at the end of the workday means everything. Guys love it when she stops what she's doing, especially being on the phone, gives him her undivided attention and says, "How was your day?"
Surprisingly, they said they do like to shop or what they call "focus shop" where their gal says, "Hey, I know this great pair of jeans that I think will look great on you." When they're a little clueless men actually appreciate a subtle guidance especially if it comes with a compliment.
The way to a man's heart is apparently still through his stomach. A delicious home cooked meal still tops men's lists, especially since some of them are accomplished cooks themselves and find they're often the ones barefoot in the kitchen. And if they are the one who always pays, it's a nice way for the gal on a budget to give back.
Revealing their sensitive side, the guys said that they want to know their woman has him in her head and isn't afraid to show him her affections. Small tokens — notes left in his pocket or a quick loving phone message let him know she's thinking of him.
And yes there is sex — but the resounding sentiment was that the men wanted to see women take the initiative. "Put it out that you want it," is their advice. However, as much as they adore their little sex kitten, it is a total turn off to feel that she's putting it out there for everyone.
Another thing they adore is getting presents. The thought still counts here. If you pay close attention to your man and his likes and dislikes you can find something that he'll appreciate and that says, "I know you." A picnic wine cooler might be perfect for one man while a new fish scaler might fit another.
Men said that they want to be acknowledged for their skills and thanked for them, so don't be afraid to ask for their help. When they move that heavy box (as long as it's not filled with pictures of old boyfriends) to the attic let them know how grateful you are to have such a strong man around the house.
Maybe women and men aren't so far apart in what they want when it boils down to the small things. Although I'm not sure a naked guy with a pizza is gonna do it for me. Maybe a naked guy with roses.
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