March 07, 2007
Like Britney, Rick has vowed to shave his head if we can raise $5,000 for the good people at R.S.V.P. who save dogs faced with euthanasia and find them loving homes. If you or your business will make a tax-deductible donation to R.S.V.P. c/o The Independent (74 Montauk Highway, Suite 19, East Hampton 11937) we will promise you plenty of free press in this newspaper and you or your business will be prominently mentioned in a full-page ad and also hopefully, on TV during the actual mortification of Rick. Humiliating Rick is satisfying in itself but helping make a dog happy is even more gratifying. This just in from Rick's Mom, the last person to see him without hair: his skull is repugnantly deformed and very, very, big, but hell, we all knew that already.