November 22, 2006

Stars Of The Dope Show

He's accused of selling drugs, and could end up deported. Last week Southampton Town Police reported the arrest of Santos Milton Gonzalez, 31, of Hampton Bays. The target of a months-long investigation into cocaine sales in the hamlet, Gonzalez was charged with two felony counts relating to drug sale and two relating to drug possession. Once cops began to process the suspect, they learned he was allegedly in the U.S. illegally. STPD notified the feds.

Hat's Off . . . Hopefully

Southampton Town cops responded to two disturbances that ran the gamut from the serious to the silly. On Friday they were called to a home on Sea Farm Court in Bridgehampton. There, they arrested a man, charging him with misdemeanor menacing. He's accused of striking another resident of the address about the head and abdomen. The victim needed medical care.

The next day, they responded to the movie theater in Hampton Bays, alerted to a drunk patron. Maybe he needed some vodka to get him through an entire screening of Borat. Or perhaps he's just a sadist. He was found sitting on the floor of the lobby, blocking the exit and preventing theatergoers from leaving the premise, bottle of booze in hand. Cops charged him with disorderly conduct and public drinking. Sadly, they lack jurisdiction to charge the creators of Borat with any crime.

More reports of fighting, fulminating folks were found in Bonac. A Springs man complained on Friday that a trio of men wearing dark-colored sweatshirts called him out of his house on Church Lane. Strangers to him, they got up close and personal quickly, kicking and punching him before fleeing the area on foot.

One pugilist in a Montauk melee earlier this month expressed his ire with urine. A victim told police that he got involved in a fight with a group of people at the skate park. His hat was knocked off during the ruckus and one of the attackers subsequently peed in it. Charges will be pursued if police locate the self — and bladder control — lacking suspects.

And just so the guys and gals in STPD don't feel lonely, EHTPD had its hands full with an obstinate intox as well. Last Wednesday they charged a Sag Harbor man with dis-con and criminal contempt. He was standing in the middle of Oakview Highway harassing passing motorists, and trying to stop cars, ultimately getting a bus to pull over lest it hit him. When the bus driver opened the door, the guy got in. Police pulled him out, since this was the fourth call regarding the guy that morning. The contempt charge stems from an order of protection forbidding him to drink. He apparently violated it in spades.

Also seeming to lack impulse control is a Montauk man. Christian A. Maldonado faces a felony count of criminal mischief. Cops say he threw a brick through a car window on November 9. He was charged last Wednesday.

On Thursday, an East Hampton man was charged with assault and endangering the welfare of a child after he intervened in a fight between his two children. According to police, the man grabbed one of the two children and tried to throw him up the stairs. The kid fell down the stairs, sustaining injury sufficient to warrant a hospital trip.

Drunk People

Southold Town police reported one DWI arrest from last weekend. Acting on a tip, they located a Greenport elbow-bender swerving across the yellow lines on Front Street.

In East Hampton town cops reported the arrest of a pulverized pair. On Friday they locked up a dude who failed to curb his predilection for hooch. A resident of Amagansett, he also failed to keep away from the curb, driving over one on West Lake Drive, sparking enforcement interest and ultimate overnight incarceration. An accident on Three Mile Harbor Road near Kingstown Avenue led to DWI charges lodged against another East Hampton inebriate on November 14.

The police report doesn't note this next guy was drunk. Maybe he's simply stoopit. Hailing from Calverton, the man was charged with criminal trespass on Sunday after a local resident noticed something amiss in her Springs domicile and phoned 911. Cops confirmed someone was indeed in the abode after they found the guy hiding behind a cabinet in her basement.

Back in East Hampton Village PD HQ, somebody please confiscate the black marker! Police released an arrest report, of sorts, listing DWI and pot possession charges lodged against a Bronx man on Sunday. He got into an accident on Cedar Street and was apparently deemed drunk and doped at the scene. Can't say for sure, though, as the report was strenuously redacted.

An earlier DWI arrest was executed on November 14. A road rage incident drew police attention to the Springs souse. The officer reviewing the reports drew black lines through the rest of the story.

Takes Tiles, Cadges Clubs

It's getting toward that time of year when the light-fingered and strong-backed ply their larcenous trade. Stolen stuff reported in East Hampton this week includes close to $14,000 in tools taken from a residence on Wireless Road, $1100 in floor tile taken from a Quarty Circle jobsite, golf accoutrement valued at $4500 swiped from a car parked in the Amagansett public parking lot, and a $350 skateboard stolen from Ditch Plains Beach in Montauk.

Rounding Up The Usual Suspects:

• Belting It out: Don't go unfettered on the North Fork. Cops in Southold are embracing the Buckle Up New York Campaign and checking to make sure motorists are using their seatbelts. Last weekend alone, they issued close to 80 tickets for seat belt and other traffic violations.

• Going Postal: EHTPD got a pile of complaints of wayward or wrecked receptacles. Mailboxes were the popular taste treat for mischief-makers. Cops are investigating five cases of mailbox molestation.

• Swamp Boat: Vandals removed the fuel caps on a boat dry docked in Montauk sometime since May. "Dry" became a mere memory as ensuing rain caused around $10,000 in damage to the craft's fuel system and infrastructure.

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