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Hardy2
November 08, 2006
/editorial/recurring/jerryink.jpg
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Jerry's Ink


A COLUMN FOR THE VICTORIOUS DEMOCRATS



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By the time you read this, the election is over and if you voted Democrat you are feeling like a winner.

You won the House and the Senate is probably yours, too, by one vote. Now all you have to do is to hope that all the Democrat politicos who tried to screw Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut after he lost his state's primary, can explain to the victorious Lieberman that they screwed him because they thought he was going to lose and front running is what politicians do.

When they are not screwing their constituents they practice by screwing each other and themselves.

So the stock market will be going down in the next few days and our taxes are going up. I'm sure you feel so much safer from terrorists here in the United States because they won't be bombing us because we respect their rights not to be wiretapped and roughed up in case they have information that they plan to kill us. Terrorists are now on the honor system. Iraq will still be Iraq because the Democrats don't have a plan for it other than using it to get themselves elected. There is good news. We don't have to be subjected to some god-awful advertising until 2008.

All this takes me to an e-mail I received from a reader "caroterr" who sent me this funny agenda for the Democratic Convention in 2008. It's pretty funny and if the person who originally wrote this wants to identify himself or herself I will be happy to give the appropriate credit.

Subject: AGENDA FOR DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION AGENDA FOR THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION 2008

7:00 p.m. Opening flag burning

7:15 p.m. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.

7:30 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:30 - 8:00 p.m. Non-religious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton

8:00 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:05 p.m. Ceremonial tree hugging

8:15- 8:30 p.m. Gay Wedding — Barney Frank presiding

8:30 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:35 p.m. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon

9:00 p.m. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender — French President Jacques Chirac

9:15 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

9:20 p.m. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund

9:30 p.m. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. Sean Penn

9:40 p.m. "Why I hate the Military" — A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton

9:45 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

9:50 p.m. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore

9:55 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

10:00 p.m. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers — Howard Dean

10:30 p.m. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad

11:00 p.m. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 p.m. Al Gore reinvents Internet

11:15 p.m. "Our Troops are War criminals"— by John Kerry

11:30 p.m. Coronation of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

If you wish to comment on "Jerry's Ink," send your message to jerry@dfjp.com.

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