September 06, 2006
Their faces were grim, their demeanor businesslike. Ever ready and on guard, two Secret Service agents tried to blend into the crowd on Main Street in Sag Harbor Sunday night. This was a tough assignment, because while everyone else had Hawaiian shirts, shorts, flip-flops and baseball caps, they had dark suits and those shiny black shoes only government agents wear. Who were they guarding? They wouldn't say.
Inside the American Hotel, former U.S. Justice Department antitrust chief Joe Klein was dining with Don ("60 Minutes") Hewitt and NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg, rumor has it Mike had asked for the out protection so he wouldn't have to drag his NYC security entourage with him, but the smart money says a certain Supreme Court Justice was out and about. Barbara Walters, Alan Alda, Ken Auletta and Ben Bradlee were among the prunes in attendance. Candice Bergen and Ron Silver also visited the eatery over the weekend.
So there was Kandy, strolling down Jobs Lane, when she saw him.
"Yo, Little Nicky!" she yelled. Nothing.
"Hey, Happy Gilmore!" Nothing.
"Hello, Mr. Wedding Singer?" Silence.
"Damn it! Get your ass over here with a drink, Waterboy!" Only then did Adam Sandler turn around and smile.
Our "buddy" Mathew Broderick had a nasty accident in Northern Ireland last week, breaking his collarbone after falling off a horse.
Regular readers might recall Broderick and his wife Sarah Jessica Parker were incensed with the Indy after we ran an item in our Real Estate section that revealed the location of their Amagansett oceanfront cottage. Parker screamed at Indy editor Rick Murphy, saying the couple was going to move from the East End forever because the Indy had "ruined our lives."
Of course, the duo and child were back on the East End this summer, enrolling their kid in a Montauk summer camp.
Broderick doesn't have much luck in Northern Ireland. On August 5, 1987, while driving with Jennifer Grey, his co-star in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Broderick smashed into another car and accidentally killed a 63-year-old woman and her daughter. He paid the price, though: he was fined $175.
He's my sister my daughter my sister my daughter . . . he's Joe Lieberman, Democratic Senator from Connecticut, notorious hawk, now running as an Independent after the Dems dumped him. He's here, raising cash from Elephants, Donks, Indies and anyone else who isn't sick of his pathetic whining yet — what a loser! Spades gave him some spare change. Kandy gave him a fortune cookie.
Sightings: Who is the most beautiful woman in the world? Some men would say Pamela Anderson. No Spades, she's the skankiest woman in the world. Others might say Audrey Hepburn. No, she's dead. For our money, it's Jennifer Connelly, a new face around these here parts. We saw her on Newtown Lane, sans makeup, sipping a beverage and dressed down like a plain-Jane. But there was no disguising those ravishing eyes.
Rumor and Innuendo: What brassy gossip duo is being courted by a New York City daily to help revitalize that old rag? You got it, folks, good ol' Kandy and Spades, dat's who. Will it happen? Our agents are talking with their people and have demanded the usual large upfront dole, the limo, the boy-toys, the champagne, the green M&Ms. Whether it gets done or not, we are like, so done with you, the little people who read swill like this. So, for another season we bid you a fond adieu and don't bother us anyone (until Memorial Day). As Kandy always advocates, in the meantime, keep in touch with yourselves.