September 06, 2006

Hamptons Daze

The Magic Shirts

"We don't do sippy cups and we don't do lines!" That was our motto this summer. We lived by these words and had the most amazing summer ever. In life, we believe that everyone should strive for big glasses of alcohol and the ability to cut any line you want.

Looking back we start talking about all of the people we've met and all the strange encounters we have had. From spin the bottle, to men who can read feet, to meeting Screech — it has been one hell of a summer. We realized that we have nicknames for many people, some of whose real names we don't even know. There has been Cheetah Print Boy, Nipples Touching Nipples, Mr. T, Mike "Real" Irish, Adam Brody, Jake Gyllenhaal, etc. The list goes on. We have many names for ourselves also. Like our soap opera names Tess and Felony, and you can't forget the Spice Girls.

Whatever, summer's not over yet for us locals. Maybe we can't do things like take pictures of ourselves in $600 hats being sold at the Hampton Classic, or crash celebrity parties last minute, or basically have something to do every night of the week, but we have to look on the bright side of things. No one can really complain about the disappearance of the "August People." With summer coming to a close there will be more time for vacations, trips to the city, less crowded beaches, more familiar faces and time for planning our reality TV show next summer. Also, we were very happy to discover that Margarita Island will be staying open all winter and is just a hop, skip and a jump away from our house.

Sunday was a Boardy Barn day. Going to the Boardy Barn in the pouring rain was the best time we drunks could ask for. Veronica wore 'The Sweatshirt.' The sweatshirt was magic. It is an East Hampton Girls Lacrosse sweatshirt that belonged to her sister's friend's brother's girlfriend. The bartender at the barn knew "Coach" quite well. Veronica may not know who Coach is because the only exercise she gets is walking home from a bar when she runs out of cash for a cab, but at the barn Coach was her best friend and free drinks for all were welcomed. Also having the bartender kick out a boy simply for being annoying was pretty nice. Regardless of the weather next summer this sweatshirt will be worn every weekend.

Wednesday was a Publick House night. The air was filled with drama but we managed to have a fun time anyway, we always do! Jameson wore 'The Shirt.' It was a J-Lo type shirt from Erika's Closet in Hampton Bays. The shirt, also magic, attracted some lesbians and got us a few free drinks as well. One particular lesbian would not shut up about how gorgeous she thought Jameson was and kept asking how a girl like her was not on the silver screen. She was hitting on Jameson so bad that it attracted quite a flock of boys who were drooling over the two of them chatting.

Veronica and Jameson were both surprised the group of guys didn't start belting out in unison "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" Hey, if it got us more free drinks she probably would have. Jameson's fling Doug, from the beginning of the summer, was there that night and talking to a very hot guy by the bar. She was very curious to know who he was and asked Veronica if she should ask Doug about him. "Bad idea girl, you should never burn bridges when they don't have to be burned. In fact you should ask Doug what he is doing later. Hahaha." 

The prank calling never ends. And it never will. This time we were the victims. Maybe it's karma for all of the messages Veronica has left this summer, but over the last few weeks Veronica has been the victim of quite a few calls herself.

First off she's been getting phone calls for someone named Tito from Queens. Every few days Tito gets angry calls about why he's not answering his phone, "Yo! Tito! Why you got your bitch leaving your voicemail messages?" Tito has some very angry friends.

Jameson's crush that may or may not be at the ripe age of 18 fell victim to Veronica's drunken banter (obviously provoked by Jameson). "Hey, sexy boy . . . GET IN MY BED RIGHT NOW!" A few nights later, however, he called Veronica back and left a hysterical drunk message about how he is going away soon and that Veronica should come over and pop his cherry ASAP. This message will be saved and replayed for many a night to come.

Hey, if anyone out there has seen the movie Prime just let it be known that this movie makes Jameson feel a hell of a lot better about her little crush on the under-ager. Hey, if Uma Thurman can date a guy 14 years younger than her, Jameson's seven year difference is no biggie. Thanks Uma!

Contact us hamptonsdaze@yahoo.com, or www.myspace.com/hamptondaze.

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