August 30, 2006
Yo, Steven Spielberg! Dude, you need to lighten up before we change your name to Mr. Curmudgeon.
The occasion was last Thursday's anniversary screening of Jaws. After initially inviting the press to the pre-screening party and post-screening Q & A, Mr. Tighty pants had a lil ol' hissy fit. NO press at the cocktail party, he ordered.
Yo, what your next movie gonna be, Indiana Curmudgeon? Raiders of the Lost Curmudgeon?
Yo, Steve – we wuz with Gwen Stefani. Yo? You hearin' us right? GWEN FREAKIN' STEFANI.
Now boy, we ask you — if you wuz Kandy and Spades, which you ain't and will never be, and you had the chance to hang with a 60-year-old movie director in a baseball cap or the hottest, sexiest singer in the whole universe, what would you do?
We did catch the movie — no freakin' popcorn. Then when the Q & A was about to begin, Mr. CUR had another edict. No questions about anything but the movie. Nothin' 'bout Mel Gibson. Nothin' 'bout Tom Freakazoid Cruise. Yo Steve, no offense but Jaws is like 30 years old. We seen it on eight track. What we want to know is if Cruise comes from the planet Blitzken and if his baby is The Alien. Tell us that crap and enough about the movie already.
Yes, Gwen is here! God help Spades. He is on her scent like a bloodhound at Dick Cheney's hunting parties. We spotted her in Southampton — sans baby – and she looked ready to party-like-it-was-1999, except that year done passed us by. Spades had her in his sights but an adorable redhead interrupted his quest with some girly chitter-chatter and before he knew it Gwen was gone.
Here's someone you don't see in the Hamptons very often — Hugh Grant, dat's who. He was spotted in the Golden Pear, dressed down. No one noticed him at first — until he smiled. Kandy had to be revived with smelling salts and a sniff of Jimmy Choos.
R&B songstress Patti LaBelle belted out the tunes for a very important cause in Quogue Saturday — the Diabetes Research Institute. The luxe affair was held at Cliff and Jill Viner's seaside estate on Dune Road where guests supped on lobster and lamb chops and knocked back intoxicating Grey Goose martinis. Kandy nabbed a front row table at the LaBelle concert after all the wining and dining and chatted with the legendary diva afterwards. She's now a certified LaBelle fan.
Sightings: Ethan Hawke is back for the holiday weekend . . . Sir Paul McCartney will be at his familiar perch at a local tavern after Labor Day but we ain't telling where because Kandy wants to hang with him without you all snoopin' around . . . Rocco DiSpirito, the chef from "The Restaurant" eating pizza in Sag Harbor . . . Kelly Ripa was also shopping in the village last week.
Rumor and Innuendo: We told you about two bluebloods from the yachting set who were intermingling fluids unbeknownst to their spouses. Well, it seems they read "Whispers" because a certain Mister had himself all in a huffy when spotted with the cuckolding wife at a private party Friday night. Daggers were flying according to our sources, who include the very reliable and always fashionable Ms. V. G., who was there.