Gurney's Inn
August 16, 2006

Indy Gossip & Whispers

Hillary, Hillary we're in love with Hillary

Billary, Billary he's a really nice guy too

Hillary, Hillary gonna be our next prez

Billary, Billary, you da first lady soon!

It was their weekend. Rockin' to Bon Jovi. Visiting Babettes. Eating at the Hamptons Wine and Food festival. They owned this place. Just like last time, only difference being he ruled the world, and she was just a hanger-on. Nowadays, it's Hillary making the move toward the White House, with Bill in tow.

If she gets elected, how will things change on Pennsylvania Avenue? Will she get the executive closet? Will they switch bathrooms? Will she be shagging female interns? Will she be shagging male interns?

Stick around — this could get really interesting in a bizzaro kind of way.

Hillary wasn't the only Dem presidential hopeful hitting the bottomless fundraising trail out here. General Wesley Clark made several appearances to raise money for veterans seeking elected office. Who's next? Howard freaking Dean screamin' and cursin' like a mad loony-tune?

Jane Goodall made the scene at Howard and Shari Schultz's East Hampton pad (think Starbucks billions). She was with a big hairy thing. Yo momma! Your beau looks like a freakin' ape. Hey ape man! Katie Couric and Candice Bergen were there, but they went with . . . men. What up wit dat?

The official polo poopie smeller this week was Jessica Biel, the super hot star of The Illusionist who has been called "the sexiest woman alive" by someone or other (we're too busy to Google it). Spades says she's nice, but he was drawn to the cutie in the little pink nothing T with the bulging flotation devices and the see-right-through little white hanky — ohh sorry, that's a skirt. Let's just say email addresses were exchanged and plans made to discuss world politics at his place later that day, though Spades thinks Hezbollah is a Jewish holiday in October.

Sightings: Matt Lauer at Cromer's in Noyac . . . Jimmy Buffett driving, of all things, a blue VW bus . . . Babs Walters blabbering away about some incomprehensible something to a gaggle of portly prunes in Southampton Village . . . Christie Brinkley just the way she is, which is pretty and, apparently, not too disturbed about this whole thing that happened. Think this fox will be unattached for long? Think again . . .

Rumor and Innuendo: The Beach Boys, appearing at Bill Gardiner's East Hampton Village farm in a fundraiser for several local charities, are knocking them dead during the current tour . . . keep your eyes open for some very special attendees (If you're lucky enough to score a ticket) . . .

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