Hardy Plumbing
August 02, 2006

Hampton Daze


On Top of the Wharf

You may have wondered how we got our alias names. Since you've gotten to know us a little better over the past few months we thought we'd share our little secret with you.

Jameson, a few years back, decided it would be a good idea to drink Jameson and ginger ale at the Talkhouse and had a few too many. Little did she know that Jameson Irish whiskey to Jameson is like kryptonite to Superman. Not only did she start scowling at everyone who approached her, she tripped her designated driver at the door, causing the bouncer to think that she was drunk. That was just the beginning. Upon arriving at her humble abode, which at the time was her parents' house, she woke up the dogs by tripping up the stairs in the house and started yelling at her friend Lynn for no reason.

After slurring every name at her in the book, Jameson reached for a lamp in her brother's room, chucked it at the wall and caused it to shatter all over the floor while screaming at the top of her lungs "I'M ANGRYYYYYYYY!!!!" So that, ladies and gentleman, is how Jameson inherited her name. Needless to say, she will never touch another drop of Irish whiskey again. Although she is half Irish, she found her angry drink. Veronica got her name on her 22nd birthday. An eventful night it was.

After many rounds of beer pong, having the entire East Hampton High

School show up at her parents' house, and getting beat up by her little sister, the party cleared out. The kids had curfew and scared all of Veronica's friends away. At about 3 a.m., Veronica and Jameson and a few other friends decided to prank call people. Somehow, and the details are not all clear, Jameson came up with the name "Veronica Onetime."

Veronica is an 80-year-old chain smoker, who talks in a raspy, old voice. Veronica called everyone that night, of course, forgetting to block her number. For hours she called everyone she knew, even when the party moved to Wolfies at 4 a.m., Veronica continued to call the world.

Needless to say, the next day, Veronica Onetime had a lot of messages from people who thought she was insane. Veronica still comes out every now and then, like this Wednesday night after Publick House when she pranked Jameson's boss. Jameson at first refused to give her the number but then one of her co-workers, who was staying over at the house, thought it would be funny and gave it up.

As we write this now it is Thursday night. We have plans to go to Top of the Wharf to play some beer pong . . . so we thought it would be a good idea to finish the article when we get home. Cheers!

WE"RE BACKKKK!!

jameson says "I cant believe this party mix is still good, it's from the housewarming party," as she grabs into the five-month-old party mix barrel. So Top of the Wharf is pretty awesomeeee. The view its amazing. Goodd music, good people. They have beer pong on thursday nights everyone should go!!! Veronica found out that her PTL (potential true love) is kind of a jerk. You win soMe you lose some . . . our friend had to leave early because he had to work at 5 a.m. so "el cinderelooo" as we love to call him had to leave before midnight before his Nissan turned into a pumpkin

Left over boccacinis is really good! We are CeleBrities. Celebs dont pay for drinks, so WE don't pay for drinks. The owner from Top of the Wharf came up to us and demanded that we do shots and not pay for drink in exchange for sex/ i mean writing about them in HAMPTONS DAZEEEE!! Then we asked the DJ to play us some Tears for Fears and he responded "who sings that?" OMG what year were you born that you don't know that Tears for Fears is a band, and they sing there own songs and they RULE!!! TELL SOMEBODY!!

Jameson just snorted like a pig . . . we snort like pigs when we laugh. snort snort! Save this stuff! we almost just erased this whole column!. Holw

that would have sucked. Have we mentioned that we're d4unk!/ RIGHT NOW! cuase there no tomor4row. RIGHT NOW! Let's celebrate . . . its 4:20 a.m., but that doesnt mean anything to us except that we have to wake up Shortly and work will suck. so now our refrigerator doesnt work. we come home AND IT DOSNT WORK!! how are we gonna save all our left over 711 leftoversand keep beer cold???. NOThING WORKS! Like every thing int his house we don't even have toilet papper. We have prisoners sending us letters, ghosts, and an electricall system from the 1800's causign us to black out daily. This is our life. .we're gonna have to call sparky (jamesons cuteboy electrician) in the morning . . . WAIT jameson just saved the day — the fuse box and the refrigerator is now working. ITS ON LIKE KING KONG!!! Now that that is worked out it is time for bed, goodnight we love you!

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