July 12, 2006
Samdup Thockmay is a Tibetan monk, a seer and a prophet. He manages a convenience store in Flushing.
Today: It's really cute your teachers all called you "Tardo."
Birthday: Henry David Thoreau, 1817
Watch out for: Gerbils named "Dino"
Be grateful: You didn't notice what they put on your hamburger.
Tomorrow: Someone named Herbert will try to mount you.
Birthday: Cheech Marin, 1946
Watch out for: Elephant mucous
Be grateful: You have a nice grave picked out.
Friday: Before leaving for work, try kneeling down, looking up and asking God, "Why me?"
Birthday: Woody Guthrie, 1912
Watch out for: The spider in your bed
Be grateful: Stupid is as stupid does.
Saturday: Join in the merriment; you could be the center of attention at the party — when everyone else leaves.
Birthday: Rembrandt, 1606
Watch out for: Blood in your stool
Be grateful: For the stool at the bar.
Sunday: Take a moment to smell the poopie
Birthday: Will Ferrell, 1968
Watch out for: Things with tentacles, women named "Prudence" and menus with guacamole
Be grateful: Your nickname isn't "Shrimp Boy."
Monday: You walk with giants, or maybe you are just a dwarf.
Birthday: Camilla Parker Bowles, 1947
Watch out for: Men with dirty handkerchiefs
Be grateful: You don't remember what you did.
Tuesday: The sun will come out . . . tomorrow, tomorrow
Birthday: Machine Gun Kelly, 1895
Watch out for: The soapbox and noose
Be grateful: It only hurts for a moment.