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July 12, 2006

Hampton Daze


The Make Out Game

Last week Jameson met someone who could read her soul by staring in her eyes for three minutes. This week Veronica met someone who could read her shoe.

After a long day of barbecuing on the George Forman grill and many games of beer pong later, Veronica and housemate Rosie continue the night at Publick House and then Barristers. They see a local drunk that Veronica met last summer at Buckley's. This guy has some stories to tell. Like a story about when he was eight years old and he was in a commercial with Mr. T. His friend gave Mr. T a "flat tire" by stepping on the back of his shoe as he was walking into a restaurant and sent Mr. T flying through the door. Mr. T turns around and yells "COME ON NOW!"

Turns out storytelling is not this man's only hobby — he can also read a shoe like a palm reader would read a hand. Veronica is wearing sandals, "Open-toed, carefree, comfortable," he says. "Is that all you got?" asks Veronica. It's not like everyone wearing sandals in the Hamptons is carefree and comfortable, what a glorious world it would be. He slurs again, "Open-toed, care-free, comfortable, I can make your toes curl." "OK! ENOUGH!" yells Veronica as she takes back her shoe. Veronica and Rosie decide it's time to go home.

Veronica and Jameson like to play a little game they call "YOU TWO SHOULD MAKE OUT!" It's happened a few times this week. Basically one of them will suggest this very loudly to the other who is talking to someone they think they should make out with. Veronica and her friend Katie made two Irish guys make out for their own amusement at Beach Bar Friday night just by saying, "YOU TWO SHOULD MAKE OUT!" Yeah, they are just that good.

Sometime this game backfires as the one who is playing 'wing girl' gets the short end of the stick. This happened to Veronica on Friday when Jameson met a cute boy. Jameson says she will only kiss the boy if Veronica kisses the boy's friend. Veronica got stuck kissing a very intoxicated boy who likes to pretend he is a mortician to pick up girls. It's funny that we wrote last week's article about lies we make up to get away from strange men and then we run into guys that lie for the opposite effect.

Unfortunately, being a mortician isn't the sexiest thing to be and he tells us that lie rarely works and that it's better to pretend to be a racecar driver. Jameson's cute boy ends up calling her a few days later and they make plans to hang out again.

On Wednesday, the tables turn after a night at the Publick House when Veronica was hanging out with a boy and Jameson suggested "YOU TWO SHOULD MAKE OUT!"

"We will if you will," says Veronica, ready to get her back for Friday night. "We will if you two switch clothes," says Jameson. Veronica and the boy are up for the challenge. They re-appear, Veronica in the boy's t-shirt and the boy in a tight white halter top.

Needless to say, Jameson ends up kissing a slightly younger boy who sleeps on leopard print sheets, blankets and pillows (only after singing a drunken rendition of the Talking Heads, Psycho Killer). Jameson thought only people in 80s movies had bedspreads like this. Up until then she believed that no company actually made leopard print bedspreads and that it was all a big hoax. Boy, was she wrong. Oh, he also had a leopard print lamp, which completed the bizarre jungle motif.

It becomes another all-nighter as the week ends with Veronica and Jameson waiting for a cab in the rain at 6 a.m. The house just so happens to be right next to the Southampton 7-Eleven. Dressed in the night- before clothing, they realize that in the light of day, after no sleep, they kind of resemble hookers.

"We should go to 7-Eleven right now and hang out with the protestors and and the day laborers," suggests Veronica. "We could make a sign that says 'HONK IF YOU'RE STILL DRUNK!' I bet we get more honks." The idea is short lived as the cab pulls up and they go safely home.

Contact us at Hamptonsdaze@yahoo.com or www.myspace.com/hamptondaze.

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