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June 28, 2006

Thought For The Day


Samdup Thockmay is a Tibetan monk, a seer and a prophet. He manages a convenience store in Flushing.

Today: Remember when you were a cute, intelligent little kid? Neither do we.

Birthday: Mel Brooks, 1926

Watch out for: Weekenders with bad hair and a bad attitude

Be grateful: If it wasn't for bad luck you would have no luck at all

Tomorrow: You can do what you want, but picking your nose is not good etiquette at home or in a restaurant.

Birthday: Gary Busey, 1944

Watch out for: The man in the tight bathing suit

Be grateful: Your mate is half-blind

Friday: You worry because people don't talk to you, that your life is dull and lonely. People don't talk to you not because you're dull, though you are, but because you're ugly and it hurts to look at you.

Birthday: Mike Tyson, 1966

Watch out for: The man hiding under your porch late at night

Be grateful: You have herpes simplex but not duplex

Saturday: Make sure to get out to the beach and enjoy the sun. Please wrap a towel around yourself so that others can enjoy it, too.

Birthday: Liv Tyler, 1977

Watch out for: The diseased rat in your garbage

Be grateful: No one cares when a nobody like you screws up

Sunday: OK, you made a mistake . . . now put your pants back on and go out the back door.

Birthday: Lindsay Lohan, 19

Watch out for: The terrorist on the bus

Be grateful: Your breath smells worse than the cheese

Monday: You can take your temperature by sticking your big toe in your ear chanting a mantra. Try it in the movie theater; it really works.

Birthday: Franz Kafka, 1883

Watch out for: The creep with the acne and the box cutter

Be grateful: Your wounds aren't life-threatening

Tuesday: Oh man, that huge mole on your face is really swollen and infected. Oh, never mind, that's your nose.

Birthday: George Steinbrenner, 1930

Watch out for: The mule with the saliva

Be grateful: You're not a duck out of water; you're an odd duck

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