June 28, 2006

Gossip & Whispers

Sure, we write a gossip column and sure, we hear a lot of hot stuff, but usually it falls into the "file in the wastebasket" folder. You know our style by now. But Kandy got MAJOR SCOOPAGE this week. This is big . . . this is really big . . . so big, in fact, you'll be reading about it on Page Six, but they'll be eating our dust.

Gwyneth Paltrow, that's who. She's hot, she's here, and she's sans husband. Maybe Mr. Paltrow, Cold Play lead singer Chris Martin, is on tour. Or maybe he was home with the little ones Plymouth and Guinness. What's up wit dat?

She was free, as a bird. Free, like the wind. Free, like The Independent. Dining at World Pie in Bridgehampton, and he (the other guy) was all over her like a cheap pair of flip-flops. That scene prompted Kandy to start thinking (a rare occurrence indeed). Are Gwyneth and Martin on the outs? Did the tanned, sleek beauty retreat to the Hamptons for some much needed R & R, or was she sneaking a little extracurricular booty in the comfort of a friend's retreat?

As for him, who he be? Kandy stared. Was he a rocker? Probably not. Preppie type. Money. Oh so Blue Blood. Kandy turned for a moment to get her cell-phone-digital camera-satellite dish-microwave. When she looked up again, the duo had split. Gonesville. Now the world waits and wonders. Is Chris Martin cuckolded or just cuckoo?

Meanwhile, Spades had his own adventure. Dr. Melfi, also in Bridge-hampton, coming out of T.J. Maxx. Lorraine Bracco, in the flesh. Tony Soprano and Spades are of the same mind when it comes to this broad. They both want to do her. Tony can't, 'cause she's his psychiatrist, but Spades has no such restraints. Unfortunately, he was in the company of a very young, very hot, scantily clad little peach he had picked up at a nearby beach with the promise of ice cream and more, so the Doc will have to wait for a taste of his sweet nectar.

SIGHTINGS: Dave Matthews and wife at the Hayground School . . . The Devil Wears Prada premiere drew the usual gaggle: Newsman Chuck Scarborough, Howard Stern and Beth, Rudy G. and Judy, Stanley Tucci, Bob Balaban, and assorted hangers-on, wannabes, nobodies, and photographers. Kandy passed, went for a facial instead. Spades watched the Mets game at the bar.

Matthew and Alexandra Reeves — he looks like his dad, Christopher, and she looks like mom — were at the Christopher Reeves Foundation fundraiser on Long Wharf in Sag Harbor seen raising funds for the charity . . . super kids. Kandy wanted to do them . . . Joy Behar, also in Sag Harbor, apparently took in a movie . . . looked like she had, conservatively speaking, 43 large buckets of popcorn with extra butter, please.

Rumor and Innuendo: What bosomy, busty, brainless bimbo made quite the scene at a local club the other night? Spies reported she was all over some lathered young, well-hung stud, lasciviously leering at his groinal region with animal intent. The trouble was Young Mr. Studly didn't appreciate the more than ample cleavage, his proclivities, shall we say, clearly aimed at another boy-toy with major underwear wad . . .

The imminent sale of a high-profile ocean manse is being held up because the white-hot Hollywood buyer is having trouble raising the necessary funds. Sources say his investments aren't very liquid right now, being that they are cocaine, horses, and male prostitutes . . . Ron Howard is reportedly set to shoot a big budget flick in these parts as soon as the summer season ends but while there is still enough sun to get in some beach shots. Names being bandied about include Tommy Lee Jones, Star Jones, Starr Boggs, Wade Boggs, Dwayne Wade, Duane Reed, Donna Reed, Madonna, and Jesus Christ, played by himself. He's getting five percent of the gross, the double-wide, and green M&Ms.

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