June 14, 2006

Thought For The Day

Samdup Thockmay is a Tibetan monk, a seer and a prophet. He manages a convenience store in Flushing.

Today: You correctly sense an uneasiness among your co-workers and friends – it's because there is "stuff" coming out of your left nostril.

Birthday: Donald Trump, 1946

Watch out for: Cankerworms and Canker sores

Be grateful: You rash isn't contagious.

Tomorrow: A good day to take stock of things; to try and determine exactly where it is you stand in life. Hint: look towards the back of the line.

Birthday: Ice Cube, 1969

Watch out for: The sinister man with the tape and cuffs

Be grateful: The stench in your bedroom is slowly going away.

Friday: Consult the stars when things seem too difficult to endure: they will lead the way to the bottle and the pills.

Birthday: Tupac Shakur, 1971

Watch out for: The pervert with the smelling salts

Be grateful: No one can see you with the lights out.

Saturday: The future looks bright for God's chosen ones; unfortunately, he hates you.

Birthday: Barry Manilow, 1946

Watch out for: What's inside the trunk of your car

Be grateful: It's already dead.

Sunday: Today is the day to reflect on your past and make note of all your accomplishments. OK, you can stop now.

Birthday: Paul McCartney, 1942

Watch out for: Venomous snakes in your garden

Be grateful: You'll be unconscious when the seizure hits.

Monday: A diseased goat will attempt to reproduce with you. Don't struggle!

Birthday: Paula Abdul, 1962

Watch out for: The hot sand

Be grateful: They don't let people like you on the beach.

Tuesday: We've taken the liberty of looking into your future: today, looks good. Tomorrow, OK. And then it stops.

Birthday: Errol Flynn, 1909

Watch out for: Satan's wrath

Be grateful: There are many sinners like yourself out there.

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