Hardy Plumbing
May 17, 2006

DATING TIPS I LEARNED FROM FAIRY TALES


Cinderella

It's about the shoes

There's no way Prince Charming would be searching the countryside for his true love holding her flip-flop. The glass slipper, like its modern day Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik counterpart, was a true work of art. While super sexy stilettos can make you look like a princess, don't forget you still have to dance in them. The evil stepsisters found out that trying to shove your foot into a shoe which doesn't fit correctly is extremely painful as well as a romantic buzz kill. So when you discover the most gorgeous pair of heels that still let you bump and grind (don't tell fairy godmother), grab them.

Men like the chase

Hunters don't like to shoot fish in a barrel. It's highly doubtful P. Charming would have been as enamored of Cinderella if she'd left him her phone number, e-mail, work address and closest Starbucks hangout, and that midnight text message of "got 2 run — car trouble" would have certainly ruined the mystery. It's best to reveal yourself slowly, keeping your pumpkin problem, lactose intolerance, or incontinent Yorkie to yourself until you get to know each other better. Men will actually dump a woman because she is "too available," so keep focused on your own life and work even if it is just picking peas out of the ashes. Your girlfriends, yoga classes, and untouched copy or War and Peace were there before him and will be there after him.

Snow White

Why date one man when you can have seven

No single man is perfect: either he's a little grouchy at the end of football season or doesn't like to go out late to dance because he's sleepy or maybe he's cute but a little too dopey to have real ambition. Many a woman has wished she could put several men together to form the perfect man — the charming conversationalist, the red hot lover, and the man who can dance. Ultimately, by working your way through the dating pool, you will discover which qualities are the most important for you.

Little Red Riding Hood

Truth in advertising

Is your dream date really who he or she seems? Is the Benz rented, the divorce "almost" final or the cleavage produced only with the help of more engineering than the Brooklyn Bridge? Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing and vice versa. Scratch beneath the surface to determine the short or long term intentions of your perfect partner — are they just being charming hoping for a one night stand or are they really interested in you but too shy to show their feelings? It's worth holding out until you discover someone's true nature before hopping into bed with them. This way you won't be gobbled up and spit out.

Rapunzel

Blondes have more fun

If you need to zip up your appearance, try highlights. I have found after going just a little bit blonder that people say I look great and ask if I'm getting more rest or have lost weight. Those blonde streaks speak of days spent in the surf and sun as does a golden tan (which you can also fake.) And what of all those blonde jokes which denigrate the brain power of the fair-haired? Probably developed by jealous brunettes like Snow White.

You can send comments to kissandtellhb@hotmail.com or listen to Heather's works on Podarama.com.

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