Hardy Plumbing
April 12, 2006

Goth Tidings From Gondor

Welcome to our blog from Gondor the Goth capital of the real freaks not the Baby-Fats or Weekend-Goths.

Things WE HaTE! You! Our parents! Our teachers! The straight world! Your music, your food, the fact that you slaughter and eat animals your pigness your wretched excess your slime your spit your nothingness

We are: Doom & Gloom: We love morbid, tragic, depressing apocalyptic

Places we hang: under beds, behind curtains, graveyards, BATCAVE (YEAH!)

The hills and valleys of blessed GONDOR with the devil The Dark LORds and fiery hell

What Scares Us? What's Inside Your Minds!!!

We wear bracelets, belts, collars, metal O rings or D rings bondage belts bondage collars violet capes The purpose is to attach something like rope, for example, to the metal ring in some sort of way to restrict a person's movement, thus the idea "bondage"

We think this is cute and clever stuff! Our parents are really disgusted when we talk about Bondage, Discipline and Sado-Masochism but the truth is we don't really have sex of any kind Cause we're too freaking weird and ugly

Top Ten Reasons Why We Hate You:

10. Oinker Pig Eaters

9. You Eat the guts of poor, innocent, sausages

8. You caused GLObaL WarMINg

7. Your PERFUME and cologne smells

6. The bile of your DISEASED ROTTING LIVER

5. You think chicken liver is good

4. YOUR Gas guzzling cars

3. There's a BLACK hole in the Sky

2. The Devil told us to!!!!

1. Your Poop smells like shit

Top one LIST of things we Smear On your Heads:


WHAT we LIKe to Wear oN Our faces:

1/2 lb. Lipstick

Three straight pins

Two Chains

Two tbsp. Mascara

A little blush

Dried blood

Other than that we're like the other kids in skool except we don't play sports and we don't listen to the silly music you hear on the radio most kids think we're just into GlamGoth but that's for fakers and losers

Everyday is Halloween

"Well I live with snakes and lizards and

other things that go bump in the night,

but to me everyday is Halloween,

I've given up hiding and started to fight,

and I started to fight."

That's all true 'cept our moms won't let us have snakes or lizards in our house 'cause once Dark Jane had a snake and it tried to swallow her baby brother and like, his head got like stuck in the head of the thing and DARk Jane's Dad had to cut it in half and it still wiggled. Also Once TOM RAZoR's lizard got loose in his house and nOW his Grandma has dreams it is in her underwear 'cause she's old and caught Al Heimer's

disease from him.

Our Favorite Places To Be


Heroin-like daze, in the back of a Hearse, reading your tombstones, also the swing set at the park and the library and oh yeah Hell!!

Don't get us wrong we're not PERKY GOTHS we're more like Spooky GOTHS except we hate you more than them do. Anyhow, that's our blog for this week next week we discuss things that are really important to us like American idol and PLanNinG Your funerals!

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