Now don't you start snickering. I am doing this column for all my good Democrat friends and none of you War-on-Poor-People, War-on-Women Republican fiends need continue to read this.
Are those war-loving Republican monsters, gone? Good.
That leaves all my wonderful Democrat friends here to share in my message of hope and a thought about a continuation of Barack Obama's dream until 2024 and beyond.
Here's what I've learned about my Democrat friends while enjoying some wonderful dinners over the last three weeks in the Hamptons.
After millions of words, hundreds of opinions, I'm still not sure what you think about the six years of the Obama presidency. I guess you haven't seen enough to form an opinion.
Actually I've learned how to elicit a Pavlovian response from my good Democrat friends. I say the word "Obama" in the sweetest, most innocent way and they immediately counter with the words "Dick Cheney" in the most aggressive, teeth-baring, snarling way.
So I've reached the conclusion that no matter what has happened in the last six years, my Democrat friends are happy with Obama and would, if they could, vote him into office today over Mitt Romney, who we all know is a fiend who once traveled with his dog on the roof of his car, which should forfeit any chance of his holding political office.
Which brings us to 2016.
My incredibly intelligent Democrat/Liberal friends will have come to grips with the fact that Hillary Clinton, whom they deserted for Obama in 2008, is now the best chance they have for another Democratic presidency.
She will (like a spurned ex-girlfriend whom one calls in the middle of a drunken, desperate night when one is alone) elicit some gift (political donation dollars?) from those who loved and left her in 2008 and they will pay well for their "perfidy" of faithlessness, treachery and betrayal.
But what about Hillary's health? What about her flop book? What about the stories that Obama will try to torpedo her because he hates the Clintons? What if Hillary decides not to run?
Who are you Democrats going to vote for then – Andrew Cuomo? His dark act won't play well out of town. He has a five o'clock shadow and the surly darkness of Richard Nixon, and you know what happened when he was in office.
And so, my Democrat friends, may I suggest Bill de Blasio? He is everything that Barack Obama is, in spades.
Bill de Blasio ran for mayor against the one percent in New York City who have great wealth. He wants to give the money to the poor. Like Obama, he wants income equality. I'm sure many of the wealthy Democrats I spoke to in the Hamptons this week are ready to reach into their bank accounts and give as much of their money as de Blasio wants. After all, shouldn't all God's children have houses in the Hamptons?
Obama started class warfare. De Blasio used it to his advantage to be elected mayor of New York.
And in a "socialist run-off," Bill de Blasio is just as much a socialist as Obama is. Maybe even more.
De Blasio won the mayoralty of New York by appealing to the same voters as Barack Obama did in 2008.
De Blasio will carry the black vote. He will shamelessly parade his son's afro and his daughter's feisty attitude across the nation. His wife is African-American and his children are as black as Obama is.
De Blasio, by ending Stop and Frisk, is causing the shooting deaths of many innocent young black teenagers. But that is nowhere close to Obama's ignoring genocide in Sudan and the increasing levels of violence in Darfur.
In the end both Obama and de Blasio will win the unanimous votes of the blacks they have exploited.
Add to that the votes of the Latinos who helped push Obama and de Blasio into their respective offices.
Then, of course, there are my good friends – Democrat/Liberals who will vote for anyone who runs for President in 2016 on the Democratic ticket.
Add to all this the vote of the unions. De Blasio has been even more generous with the unions than Obama has been. De Blasio has given them increases and contracts that will haunt this city for years to come. Wait until he soul kisses the unions on a national level.
And my good Democrat/Liberal friends who may have second thoughts before pulling the lever for de Blasio, think of this: What could de Blasio do to this country that Obama hasn't already done?
Then there's the question of experience. De Blasio has been in office as mayor 184 days, which gives him 184 days more experience in governing than Obama had when you, my brilliant Democrat/Liberal friends, elected him President of the United States in 2008.
And don't forget the ability of the Republican Party to shoot itself in the foot. De Blasio will easily beat the Republican candidate because Republicans don't wait for Democrats to destroy them. They will spend the next two years destroying themselves.
De Blasio will know how to deal with Congress. Even better than Obama, he will, as President, get close to Chuck "Give 'Til It Hurts" Schumer, Nancy Pelosi and all those other cute liberals. He will do what Obama refused to do. He will cuddle up to Congress until he gets all of his programs enacted.
The make-up of the Supreme Court will change. The five members whom the Democrats said are "waging a war against women" will soon lose their majority to the four justices about whom the Republicans should have said (but were too dumb to think of it) were "waging a war on religion."
De Blasio may look and sound stupid. But heed the words of the great Peggy Noonan: "What a small and politically vicious man New York's mayor is."
Are there better words to describe the next President of the United States as long as he's a Democrat?
So tonight when you, my Democrat friends, climb into bed, look up at the ceiling and repeat three times: "President de Blasio . . . President de Blasio . . . President de Blasio." If that doesn't give you a warm and toasty feeling, just say "Dick Cheney" once and hide under the covers until the "boogeyman" goes away.
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